Life and Family

Intentional Marriage

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Back in the fall, Josh and I finally decided that we were going to join a small group at our church.

We really don’t love to give up our relaxation time in the evenings, so this was kind of a big deal for us. We were also both really apprehensive about joining a group where we knew absolutely no one. The first night we walked in we were both pretty nervous. But, we ended up really liking everyone in our group, and feeling like we had done something positive for our marriage.

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The more we have gone to group, the more comfortable we have all gotten with each other, and it has come to be something that we make time for every week. Right now our group is reading Creating an Intimate Marriage: Rekindle Romance Through Affection, Warmth and Encouragement by Jim Burns. It has been a really eye opening journey for us as we have gone through our chapters week by week.

We started to notice a theme as we discussed our lives and how we were creating spiritual intimacy in our marriage.

One word that kept coming up was Intentional. Josh and I really had to take a hard look and realize that we weren’t being very intentional anymore about worshiping and praying together outside of church. Josh and I are really close, but there is something about a couple praying together that creates a closeness that you will only find in those moments together.

It is really easy to go through the day and kiss each other goodnight and go to bed, but you have to be intentional about saying “Let’s pray together.”  This is not always easy to do, especially when you are exhausted after work and kids activities all day long.

We decided that we would start reading a couples devotional together. The readings are short and we try to dscuss them in the mornings. We do not always succeed at this, and that is okay. But, what we are doing is creating an intentional practice in our marriage that we hope to become a habit in our marriage.

You can learn so much from other couples.

Josh and I just celebrated 19 years of marriage, and we have been married longer than anyone in our group. So we naturally thought that we might have more insight than some of the other couples. In many areas we do, but we have discovered that we can learn so much from other couples. Even couples who have been married for half the time that we have.

So I would encourage you to find other couples or a small group to be in. It has been really good for us as a couple and gotten us out of our comfort zone and brought some new ideas and aspects into our marriage. It has reminded us to be Intentional with each other in our marriage.

Here is the link to the devotional book we are using right now :  A Little God Time for Couples: 365 Daily Devotions

Here are some others:  Staymarried: A Couples Devotional: 30-Minute Weekly Devotions to Grow In Faith And Joy from I Do to Ever After

The One Year Love Language Minute Devotional (The One Year Signature Series)


If you are in a point of your marriage where you don’t think your spouse would even go to church or a group with you, here is a book that I read a few years ago. This book worked on my heart in a way that really began to change my marriage:
The Power of a Praying® Wife

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